Trust

I’ve been reading about attachment theory lately. It’s a really complex, fascinating subject. As I understand it now, I’d summarize its basic principle this way: people have a basic need to trust that those with whom they most closely associate understand and value them. Psychologists have applied the theory to both the parent-child relationship and to the relationships between lovers. They posit that many of the long-term impairments to these relationships arise because one or both of the people in the relationships feel misunderstood or undervalued by the other person.

I wonder if attachment theory might help us understand how better to do business.

One of the key aspects of a business is trust. Sometimes leaders ask employees simply to trust their judgment on faith. The idea that employees should trust their managers is so commonly accepted that it’s almost axiomatic.

How often does it go the other way?

One of the most critical skills a leader can develop is to trust her team. Another is the ability to develop trust in others. I think it’s really important to understand that concept: trusting and developing trust are skills, not merely feelings. While trust is reinforced by positive experiences, it grows only when it is successfully extended beyond its demonstrated range.

To put it another way: we cannot trust without a bit of hope. We hope that our employees will do the right thing and we then give them the freedom to go and try. They hope that we’ve got their interests at the front of our minds as they put their livelihood in our hands.

Success in business depends as much on whether we’ve properly prepared our employees as it does on whether they’ve properly prepared themselves. But trust doesn’t exist in the preparation. It comes into being when we choose to hope for an outcome enough to take a step into the dark. It grows when our feet hit solid ground.